bart is kind of a strange guy, to say the least. ok he's not a guy, but if he were. he'd be strange. but he's a train. he's still strange, though.

anyone else find themselves in strange situations while riding the bart train?

april: i bring the SPICIEST BURRITO EVAR onto the bart in sf (16th & mission) since IT'S MY BIRTHDAY and i don't care about the rules/i'm pretty drunk. not sure why but at the time i thought this was the perfect opportunity to take GENUINELY sexah pix, the result being many unflattering shots of inappropriate gestures. for example:


july: a disheveled man on bart (16th & mission, again) offers me a hot dog from what i can only describe as a "TOWER OF WIENERS." when i politely decline he shrugs and says, "well, you looked REALLY hungry."

last thursday: a very DRUNK, relatively well-dressed middle-aged woman on bart (24th & mission) is tottering about the train. at every stop, she gets off, totters around the platform, then gets back on before the doors close. eb and i takes bets as to whether she will fall into the gap between the platform and the train, and when she will fail to get back on the train before it leaves again (it was at civic center station). at times it seems she is asleep. at times it seems she is about to barf, for sure. she is carrying two purses, one brown and one black. the black one might be a fanny pack.

last thursday, again: we transfer at macarthur station to get to the richmond train and make it back to albany. we sit behind a young couple, and all i notice about them is that they're dressed nicely (i've become pretty practiced at not looking at anyone too closely on bart). there is an unpleasant, familiar smell on the train. "what is that SMELL?" eb says. the girl in front of us (one half of the nicely dressed young couple) glares back at him. she's sitting kind of turned in her seat, toward the guy who's the other half of the nicely dressed young couple. idk what her problem is. "i don't know," i say, "it hella smells like garbage. garbage train!" this is pretty funny. but the girl isn't glaring anymore, so i take a longer look at the guy, and he bent over... oh god... he's bent over a plastic bag, and it's empty. i nudge eb and point to the floor where there is barf splatter pattern clearly indicating that the nicely dressed guy is the source of that smell VOMIT yes VOMIT that's the smell! lucky for us and our stomachs the couple gets off at the downtown berkeley station and we move to a different car that smells less like fresh puke. at this point it is definitely hilarious that we sat right behind the barf and talked about how bad it smelled for oh a couple minutes at least before we realized we were talking about the people in front of us. oops!

seems like bart just attracts intoxicated people. if i'm not one of those people, i'm taking notes on them. oh SHIT i wonder if anyone's ever taken notes on ME??

and is REALLY just a "COINCIDENCE" that "bart" and "barf" are only off by ONE LETTER? I THINK NOT!