awkward moment of the day.

today i was munching on hella carrots (and i mean HELLA, like, SO MANY carrots, I LOVE CARROTS. also carrots remind me of bunnies which are cute so i tend to have some sort of drooling grin-face happening while eating carrots, and the transcript of my thoughts goes something like, "yum... i'm like a bunny... i wish there was a bunny here to be my friend... esp a baby one... i like baby animals... bunnies... i'm glad to be eating a carrot not a bunny... nom nom..." so yeah i am pretty into carrots). as i was crunch-crunching my coworker walked by and thought i said something to her since i, as i said, was crunch-crunching and probs smiling with a far off i-love-bunnies look in my eye. this was awkward because i did NOT in fact say anything to my coworker, and also my mouth was super full of delicious carrot, so i could not answer in any coherent* way immediately, and she had to stand there and wait for me to chew this fucking carrot before i could say, "no i didn't say anything," and she could continue on her way. so that's 30 seconds she'll never get back, right there.

*the word "coherent" always reminds me of my college grad party and how my parents were there and leaving and my dad was trying to tell me something "important" or whatevs and kept asking me, "ARE YOU COHERENT," and i was like, "naw, man, i've had three bottles of peach champagne i am CLASSY," and really i was trying to pretend to be at least 50% sober when i was mabes 3.5% at that point, but i wanted him to just LEAVE so i could go to the bar. yeah i know that sounds excessive but hello, COLLEGE. i only do that kind of thing about once a week now, because i'm a fucking GROWN-UP. also i have never been able to find any peach champagne here in california so if you know where it's at plz HOLLA.